


Everything's Okay

by Demenscous



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Established Friendship, Fluff, Gen, He's trying his best he really is, Nationals, One Shot, Sakusa is a germphobe, Scenario, gender neutral reader, if that's what you call whatever you and sakusa have, pining on sakusa's end, sakusa is having one of his mini panic attacks, slight comfort/hurt, therefore physical affection/touch can be hard for him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-22
Updated: 2020-09-22
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:21:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26602879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Demenscous/pseuds/Demenscous
Summary: After an eventful day at Nationals, the bus ride home with Sakusa doesn't go as planned for either of you...For context: You are Itachiyama’s manager, a second year student
Relationships: Sakusa Kiyoomi/Reader
Comments: 16
Kudos: 111





	Everything's Okay

“Where’s Sakusa?” You had taken your eyes off of him for only a few minutes and he’d somehow managed to slip away to God knows where.

Except God probably didn’t know where the ace had gone, but you had a hunch. You turned to Komori who only shrugged in response.

“I told you to _watch him_ ,” you hissed, jabbing a finger at the boy’s chest who had already placed his hands up defensively.

“And I was!” He pleaded, providing a bewildered expression that opposed your exasperated one.

Sighing, you broke off from the rest of the team, squeezing your way through male and female players alike, all of them conversing amongst each other in the expanse of the waiting area at the gym where Nationals were being held. You muttered your apologies as you slipped between a group of people, trying to locate the bathroom area where there was a fifty-fifty chance he was either inside or loitering around in case of an emergency--or what _he_ considered an emergency, which would be an un-sanitized stranger or object touching him.

After some time of wandering and pushing through crowds, you finally spotted the poor boy, buried in a corner and nearly hunched over. You had expected this to happen at some point or another, but you hadn’t expected it to happen _this_ early. Crossing the distance of a few meters, you found yourself standing in front of Sakusa who was eyeing you warily. In fact, his eyes were the only indication that he was even acknowledging you as a mask covered the rest of his face.

Despite putting plenty of distance between him and you to ensure his own comfort, you still had to tilt your head up slightly to meet his gaze, “You okay, Sakusa?” Your voice was even-toned, calm, but not worried. Never worried--never pitiful, never patronizing or fretful. Sakusa, despite his intimidating exterior, despised being pitied, being belittled; even if the worriment from another was the reason for their being so cautious with him, he hated it. It made him feel weak, like others believed he needed to be coddled, and he _hated_ it.

Though, you’d only learned this when a group of fan-girls had approached him last year after a match had ended and Sakusa was having one of his… _episodes_ , you liked to call them. The girls, while having good intentions, nearly drove him to a breaking point as they asked if he needed anything, offering their help and voicing their concerns. It had taken Komori and you both to disperse the girls with rushed, half-assed apologies and excuses while you had led Sakusa somewhere quieter and more isolated. If Komori and you had arrived any later, you were sure that Sakusa would have ended up practically snarling in someone’s face.

And here you were again, come to save the ace from himself.

“Do I look ‘okay’ to you?” He deadpanned, the mask muffling his voice to an extent. A slight, undetectable, upturn of the corner of your lips was the only response he got. 

On your first meeting with the ace as Itachiyama’s new manager, his blunt words had caught you off guard despite knowing the reputation his personality held. But after nearly two years of having to put up with his antics, you’d grown quite used to it as you knew his words held no true ire towards you. However, his sharp tongue and your quick wit tended to land you in arguments with Sakusa, whether it was serious or not.

You shoved your hands in the track pant’s pockets, tilting your head lazily to the side, “No, actually you look like you’re about to hurl.”

Sakusa narrowed his eyes, rolling his shoulders before adjusting his mask. He didn’t say anything.

“They’re gonna open the gates soon and we all need to be in one place.” Again, you honed your voice to neutrality. Pushing Sakusa past his boundaries never ended well, but the words left unsaid in your statement reached him: _We_ need _to join back up with the rest of the team, it’s not negotiable_.

He mumbled something that you didn’t quite catch, but acquiesced with a single nod, trailing behind as you turned on a heel to follow the outskirts of the crowd rather than the more direct path through. Sakusa knew you took the route just for him and his sanity, and he was also well aware of the other minor things that you adjusted for him, too; the words you so carefully chose, the way you so carefully said them, giving him space, options…there were times when he meant to thank you, to show that he did, in fact, take notice and he appreciated it, but every time he approached you, the reluctant gratitude already forming on his tongue, he found that the words would be swallowed back down. 

He didn’t know why.

※※※

Itachiyama had taken the win for their first game of Nationals this year, having beat the other team by a landslide. You expected nothing less from them, nothing less of Sakusa who had played exceptionally well like always. And now, driving on the bus back to the hotel after the first day had finally come to an end, your eyelids had become heavy, your limbs feeling weighted.

Sakusa sat next to you, characteristically quiet. Normally he would have claimed a seat section for himself, isolating from the others, but a minor finger injury had him situating in a seat beside you, asking if you could wrap the aching finger for him while waiting to arrive at the hotel.

Of course you’d said yes, and when you were finished you had fully expected for him to saunter back to where he had placed his sports bag and settle himself there for the rest of the drive. Except, he didn’t. He’d remained seated right there beside you, albeit he didn’t say anything, instead busying himself with his phone, so you’d left him alone and didn’t bother to question the strange behavior.

But, God, you were fucking exhausted. You had already tried to lean against the bus window but were usually jolted awake every few seconds; you had even leaned your head back against the headrest but found that to be quite uncomfortable after only a short period of time. When you had given up on your efforts, you snuck a quick glance of Sakusa who was still too enamored by his phone to even notice you struggling.

Eventually, you had pulled your legs up to your chest, wrapping your arms tightly around them while you rested your head upon your knees. Though, it wasn’t the most comfortable position, it was better than the other alternatives you had tried and after some adjusting and wriggling around, you’d managed to fall into a light sleep.

Beside you, Sakusa continued to fiddle with his phone.

Truth be told, his finger had been tender to the touch, but it wasn’t anything that couldn’t have waited until the bus arrived at the hotel. He had just figured that it would be a good way to approach you, maybe thank you like he’s been meaning to for longer than he would like to admit. But after you’d wrapped his finger, you had simply just told him what he heard every time you bandaged an injury, “ _Try to avoid using that finger and if you need me to re-bandage it, just ask_ ”, and then you turned to watch the passing city from the window.

He had pulled his phone out then, trying to figure out what the hell he was going to say now that you’d obviously put an end to the conversation. Sakusa would spare you a few glances out of his peripheral every now and then as he bided his time thinking. He didn’t miss when you sent a brief glance of your own to him at one point. But by the time he had turned to you, lips parted with the words he needed ready at his disposal, you were curled up in your seat, legs pulled flush against your chest.

Sakusa had never seen you look so small, _fragile_ , he dared to think. He knew you were far from it, always brandishing an imposing expression despite your not-so-imposing stature, even if you didn’t mean to. You were one of the few people who tended to bite back at his jabs; it was one of the reasons why he respected you to a fault. And there you were, tucked into yourself and sleeping peacefully--and your face had never seemed so relaxed, your usually lowered brows, furrowed by stress, looked as if they had been lifted of any and all problems. You looked… 

Beautiful. That was what he wanted to say.

And in that moment, you shifted in your seat, exhaling deeply as your head discovered purchase leaning back against the plush seat. Then the bus made a turn and he found your head falling to his shoulder for support. It was a miracle in itself that you didn’t wake from the sudden movement.

But, instantly, Sakusa felt the panic begin to roil beneath his skin. You weren’t clean, you hadn’t showered since last night. Who knew how many germs you carried just from your head alone? While his mind screamed to remove you from him, fingers clenching around the fabric of his pants, he tried to calm himself. He truly did try. His breathing had already quickened by now, heart pounding against his chest. And as much as he wanted to move away from you, he also wanted to touch you--your hair that he just knew would be soft with the sweet smell of your conditioner, your skin that he saw you put lotion on time and time again, your face that he wanted nothing more than to trace and study every feature. But he couldn’t. Couldn’t move his hands, his arms, his legs, couldn’t move anything. 

His mouth. 

He could move his mouth though.

“Y/n,” he whispered, so quietly you thought it was just in your head, Sakusa’s voice winding its way through your dreams.

Until you heard it again, less muddled this time, the enunciation of your name sure in his voice. Your eyes slowly fluttered open, adjusting to the darkness of the bus once again. There was something warm and solid pushing against the side of your head, something… 

Sakusa.

You jerked away from him, looking up to see him calming down from what seemed to be a panic attack of sorts. Clearing your sleep addled brain, you shook your head, ready to spew a mountain of apologies. 

“Sakusa…I’m--” But he cut you off with a shaky hand before letting it slip into a jacket pocket. 

His head was pressed back against the headrest of the seat, curls mussed from the friction, and the adam's apple of his throat bobbed as he swallowed, “It’s fine--I’m fine. It’s not your fault, you didn’t know.” His words were clipped, but not in anger.

You clenched your jaw tightly, feeling terrible about the whole situation. You knew how Sakusa was, you should have been more careful, and now you’ve given the boy a damn near heart attack.

If only you knew that, despite it all, Sakusa’s shoulder felt cold from the loss of contact between the two of you.

Maybe he would tell you another time...

**Author's Note:**

> This one's a bit short, but I still enjoyed writing it :) also if you couldn't tell I'm just trying to transfer all of my writings to here in like one day so don't mind that lmaoo. But poor Sakusa, the boy can't do anything without his phobias getting in the way
> 
> Other Socials  
> Tumblr: demxnscous


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